Michael Carrick still a footballer! Why oh why?!

27th May 2009, Stadio Olimpico Rome, Champions League final, Iniesta, Xavi, Messi and co. destroy Manchester United to claim their third Champions League trophy and to complete a historic treble for the illustrious Catalan club. Anyway enough of the history that most football fans hold knowledge of, personally this was to be the start of my near 7 year (and counting) hatred of Michael Carrick. The reason for this sudden write-up about the 30+capped English international is my sheer dismay at the player.

It was the night when the Catalan midfielders tore apart and simply embarrassed the partnership of Carrick and fat boy Anderson, whereas unfortunately due to injury and suspension United were without/didn’t start Fletcher, Hargreaves, and Scholes, who without doubt would have influenced the game to a different result. With respect to Anderson I don’t hold much against him, a mercurial talent for FC Porto that earned him his move to the Northwest of England, an injury during his first season and his apparent love for Lancashire beer and steak slices ended any chance of fulfilling his potential.  On the other hand, we have Michael Carrick; I’ll refer to him as ‘tosser’ Carrick as previously seen during this article.  This is a man with arguably the best job in the world, playing for the best club in the world, in the best stadium in the world, who operates with no aggression, passion, and is the most unrobust midfielder in the world.  During that CL final Xavi and Iniesta basically just passed around him for the full 90minutes, as they would repeat 2 years later in the Wembley 2011 final. Ok, tosser Carrick is on a large list of midfielders given this humiliating experience by Xavi and Iniesta, but these midfielders put in challenges to stem the flow, and they don’t cover ground at 1mile a hour! shit

People challenge my opinion with support for tosser Carrick, praising his phantom passing ability, and claiming he is the first person on Man. United’s team sheet, something I hate to agree with. With all his remarkable accolades and records left within the footballing world, Sir Alex Ferguson in my eyes will be always be tainted with his trust in tosser Carrick. After Keane left, Sir Alex was unlucky for Kleberson and Veron to be flops, and for genuine world class footballer Owen Hargreaves to be plagued by chronic knee problems. Still excuses apart, Sir Alex still never invested in the central positions, instead relying and trusting in tosser Carrick. The likes of Scholes and Fletcher in addition to the goals from Tevez, Rooney and Van Persie made tosser Carrick glow in front of the eyes of the narrow-minded football supporter, and his undeserved trophy cabinet would be a lot less abundant without these players.

It taints every Man United game I watch in which he plays, I class United as my second club behind my hometown club The Mighty Posh.  Here is tosser Carrick performing before 80000 spectators, and literally all he can muster is 5yard passes sideways, and the cowardly ability to bottle 50/50 challenges. One particular tackle he became a craven for, was an encounter with the horrible, overrated Jack Wilshere. The ball was set up beautifully for both players to enter into the 50/50 confrontation, and this scenario a dream for most English men to take out and rough up Wilshere. Apparently not for tosser Carrick though who pulls his leg away and allows Wilshere to travel and create a goal for rivals Arsenal. This cowardly ability and an act that would cause innumerable past footballers to roll in their graves is despicable for a top-flight midfielder.

Other times of memory when tosser Carrick has been found out; an away game against Everton resulting in first grade bullying by Fellaini, and a dreadful appearance at centre-back caused a tonking away at Fulham.

Summarising my thoughts, tosser Carrick is a boring, weak-hearted and weak-minded footballer, who clearly doesn’t appreciate his career, and plays with such a languid, poor style that has somehow mythed top coaches into selecting him.

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